No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
