i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
