is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize