I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize