I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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