you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
There r osticjed everywhere
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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