who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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