I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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