She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
