What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
