if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
she peed on how many people?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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