im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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