I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
