I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
