TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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