You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize