Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
