I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize