It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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