So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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