She's JV to your varsity
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
