"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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