This is not my ceiling
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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