doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
