Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
