bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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