He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
