Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
