Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
