And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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