what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
