You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize