So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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