his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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