I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize