you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
