My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
