you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
