i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Quick, to the slutcave!
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
