Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying. http://tfl.nu/ychl
  Replies (4) Good night (1167) Bad night (1641)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  nope, you were tallying rejections at the party

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots? (734): nope, you were tallying rejections at the party http://tfl.nu/c1is
  Replies (8) Good night (1137) Bad night (6022)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack. http://tfl.nu/734p
  Replies (8) Good night (4267) Bad night (987)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode http://tfl.nu/n1t3
  Replies (10) Good night (3662) Bad night (1004)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Are you in a cab?

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): Are you in a cab? (908): I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka? http://tfl.nu/9mwy
  Replies (3) Good night (2547) Bad night (930)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning. http://tfl.nu/i0lg
  Replies (6) Good night (3097) Bad night (1077)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone

  (1-540): View more from Virginia

  I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone (1-540): I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her http://tfl.nu/pf86
  Replies (28) Good night (3917) Bad night (1319)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here? http://tfl.nu/0zqj
  Replies (12) Good night (2140) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste http://tfl.nu/bd6y
  Replies (5) Good night (1502) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you. http://tfl.nu/7qhe
  Replies (0) Good night (784) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy http://tfl.nu/f6ow
  Replies (5) Good night (732) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (213): Well, we won the drunk before noon contest! http://tfl.nu/g4t1
  Replies (5) Good night (861) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  That's my new pick up line call me a polish name

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad. (1-773): That's my new pick up line call me a polish name http://tfl.nu/jbx5
  Replies (5) Good night (953) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas. http://tfl.nu/p3js
  Replies (4) Good night (577) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (985): Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it. http://tfl.nu/i5dn
  Replies (1) Good night (312) Bad night (527)

Randomize