Texts From Last Night

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  (281): View more from Texas

  I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.

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  (281): I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian. http://tfl.nu/ky2c
  Replies (51) Good night (3735) Bad night (720)
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  (646): View more from New York

  the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.

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  (646): the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us. http://tfl.nu/x7fp
  Replies (13) Good night (6018) Bad night (720)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.

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  (847): Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do. http://tfl.nu/qkwv
  Replies (16) Good night (1030) Bad night (3772)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...

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  (202): Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again... http://tfl.nu/efr4
  Replies (5) Good night (3109) Bad night (847)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.

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  (703): Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night. http://tfl.nu/f2qw
  Replies (8) Good night (3745) Bad night (1053)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.

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  (248): Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed. http://tfl.nu/7r2l
  Replies (10) Good night (3205) Bad night (1024)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.

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  (478): He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him. http://tfl.nu/w7kg
  Replies (7) Good night (2168) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.

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  (610): My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help. http://tfl.nu/86v6
  Replies (8) Good night (1552) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.

  (585): View more from New York

  Find him and marry him.

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  (716): He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night. (585): Find him and marry him. http://tfl.nu/d6kn
  Replies (5) Good night (2431) Bad night (676)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?

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  (502): Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work? http://tfl.nu/ejxj
  Replies (8) Good night (955) Bad night (664)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?

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  (609): he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night? http://tfl.nu/gjwh
  Replies (5) Good night (498) Bad night (1378)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.

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  (314): Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back. http://tfl.nu/xqdn
  Replies (4) Good night (1256) Bad night (453)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty

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  (773): the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty http://tfl.nu/esuw
  Replies (5) Good night (647) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart

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  (316): Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart http://tfl.nu/0j6w
  Replies (2) Good night (765) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Did you leave ur panties in the sink?

  (214): View more from Texas

  Kitchen or bathroom?

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  (940): Did you leave ur panties in the sink? (214): Kitchen or bathroom? http://tfl.nu/vwsu
  Replies (0) Good night (719) Bad night (286)

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