Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED