So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club