dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is