Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.

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  (510): I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone. http://tfl.nu/yr4y
  Replies (4) Good night (764) Bad night (934)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.

  (971): View more from Oregon

  Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.

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  (971): I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it. (971): Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated. http://tfl.nu/1c8f
  Replies (7) Good night (4590) Bad night (609)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.

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  (240): Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS. http://tfl.nu/2m4m
  Replies (128) Good night (27958) Bad night (2178)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.

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  (515): I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans. http://tfl.nu/jn9s
  Replies (128) Good night (591) Bad night (3971)
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  (661): View more from California

  Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half

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  (661): Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half http://tfl.nu/okef
  Replies (14) Good night (1031) Bad night (3933)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.

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  (575): I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here" (575): Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life. http://tfl.nu/q6db
  Replies (9) Good night (2308) Bad night (807)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.

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  (218): After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house. http://tfl.nu/210e
  Replies (4) Good night (1135) Bad night (568)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.

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  (914): I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements. http://tfl.nu/p1je
  Replies (8) Good night (1508) Bad night (546)
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  (718): View more from New York

  this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican

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  (718): this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican http://tfl.nu/utxh
  Replies (27) Good night (596) Bad night (1527)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Do you believe in miracles?

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  (224): Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker (847): Do you believe in miracles? http://tfl.nu/9830
  Replies (5) Good night (1389) Bad night (600)
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  (951): View more from California

  Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.

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  (951): Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water. http://tfl.nu/p40v
  Replies (5) Good night (1001) Bad night (384)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks

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  (775): He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks http://tfl.nu/jztr
  Replies (3) Good night (637) Bad night (366)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.

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  (814): I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's. http://tfl.nu/kzl8
  Replies (4) Good night (598) Bad night (326)
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  (276): View more from Virginia

  My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.

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  (276): My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today. http://tfl.nu/q8u1
  Replies (9) Good night (760) Bad night (327)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.

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  (928): At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive. http://tfl.nu/brs2
  Replies (1) Good night (728) Bad night (170)

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