Texts From Last Night

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  (210): View more from Texas

  I've decided to bang my pen-pal.

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  (210): I've decided to bang my pen-pal. http://tfl.nu/dcyn
  Replies (35) Good night (3826) Bad night (553)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.

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  (919): I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment. http://tfl.nu/zj28
  Replies (25) Good night (3163) Bad night (974)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  "Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.

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  (704): "Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization. http://tfl.nu/xva8
  Replies (24) Good night (4099) Bad night (876)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.

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  (303): Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break. http://tfl.nu/0dv9
  Replies (17) Good night (5100) Bad night (802)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??

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  (812): Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days?? http://tfl.nu/olry
  Replies (35) Good night (1506) Bad night (3796)
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  (408): View more from California

  I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.

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  (408): I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that. http://tfl.nu/q1as
  Replies (20) Good night (3391) Bad night (1706)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick

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  (360): It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick http://tfl.nu/navf
  Replies (28) Good night (1093) Bad night (8878)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"

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  (703): I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila" http://tfl.nu/s09r
  Replies (11) Good night (4731) Bad night (1026)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.

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  (773): I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe. http://tfl.nu/xtio
  Replies (6) Good night (3107) Bad night (968)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back

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  (847): Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back http://tfl.nu/ffo4
  Replies (6) Good night (1263) Bad night (1033)
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  (369): View more from California

  Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?

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  (369): Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night? http://tfl.nu/oh80
  Replies (7) Good night (708) Bad night (1063)
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  (619): View more from California

  He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.

  (760): View more from California

  Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.

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  (619): He is just a personification of a vodka hangover. (760): Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes. http://tfl.nu/e8aw
  Replies (1) Good night (1047) Bad night (501)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.

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  (423): I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor. http://tfl.nu/3542
  Replies (2) Good night (516) Bad night (290)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.

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  (412): i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms. http://tfl.nu/uje7
  Replies (6) Good night (568) Bad night (253)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?

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  (850): Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'? http://tfl.nu/7fyz
  Replies (1) Good night (321) Bad night (398)

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