The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
So is that a yes?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.