Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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