Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
