I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
