what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize