Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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