Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
