haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
