Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
