Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.

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(514): View more from Quebec

His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.

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(330): View more from Ohio

My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob

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(813): View more from Florida

The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer

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(708): View more from Illinois

I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.

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(360): View more from Washington

Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?

(903): View more from Texas

Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year

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(360): View more from Washington

Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks

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