Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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