You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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