it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize