walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
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She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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