um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
