I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
