you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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