I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
