Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
