Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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