dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
