What did we do last night that was yellow?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
