After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Do vagina's smell?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
