we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
