Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
