So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
