dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
