I should be sponsored by Trojan
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
either way he was missing a nipple.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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