you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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