since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Every concussion has its silver lining
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
