The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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