Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
