Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
